you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
