No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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