Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
