Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
