Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
