you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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