If i come over, it means nothing
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
