i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
