We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
