So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
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He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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