How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
