if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
