I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
