last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
