I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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