everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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