If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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