please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
