Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
