Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Randomize
