I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
