i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
