I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
