Christians are straight up FREAKS
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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