She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
