based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
