It's a beautiful day for a hangover
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
