508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
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