I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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