How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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