nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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