I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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