No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
