They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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