meet me or not, i'm out of control
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
