That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
