i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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