just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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