the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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