i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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