Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
