Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
