How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
