either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
