also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
