Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize