omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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