I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I currently don't understand fingers.
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