She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
