hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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