3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
