i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
