I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
