Jerry, you need to find god
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize