So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We are all done wearing pants today
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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