I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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