I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
