oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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