wrigley field is MILF paradise
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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