some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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